Experiences of Mentors

When I was much younger, I was taught to write “I love you because…” notes in a camp. The aim was to write something positive about the person and to tell him/her that he/she is special in his/her own way. I thought this was a really good idea and have done this with my mentee since our first session together. We would spend a few minutes after every session writing a note to each other, expressing our own concerns and after-thoughts about the session.

The second one was written at our third session :

The third one was written much later in the year, before her end-of-year exams :

The fourth note, this one was written early this year in March :

The last note was written during our last session :

I contacted Daniel, executive chairman of THC. During my interview with him, I told him this, “It takes willingness to volunteer, but after which, it takes commitment to persevere.” It certainly was my belief and it still is. However, I have to admit that it is easier said than done.

I embarked on this scheme with a willing heart and an attitude to learn. These were important but many a times, inadequate. I faced several problems right after the initial sessions. I realised that to my mentee, I was a tutor, and someone who made her report to school on Saturday morning just to have an extra lesson. Sometimes, it seems as though she does not want me around. I share similar feelings towards extra Maths lectures and tutorials too. I knew that it was a major battle that I had to fight and overcome. I had to establish a friendship with her before any learning could be possibly effective. It proved to be no easy task.

I often felt awkward just to meet up with her, simply to eat, talk or have some fun together. Sometimes, I did not even get through to the asking part. Moreover, her parents preferred their child to stay at home rather than go out with an older boy, except for tuition. The solution was to write letters. This provided us with the flexibility to read when we were free. We shared about our school life, favourite pastimes, entertainment news, and a bit of work.

Throughout JC1, the school work was manageable and I was able to make time for her. However in JC2, the work load was overwhelming. To worsen the situation, there was a common test every Saturday! I began to have difficulty coping and also to find a time slot to meet. This was a real test.

As mentoring is not just about being physically there, I have to prepare materials, answers, and sometimes, to read up beforehand on subjects which I am no longer taking. This was a critical factor. Gradually, I learnt ways to better manage my resources and more importantly, I began to teach her the methods and skills, instead of the contents and facts.

The temptation to leave her alone to deal with my own problems was great. After a long and tiring night of studying for the common test, I looked forward to some rest rather than meeting up. However, a good mentor is one who is responsible and committed, and willingly give up personal conveniences.

I learnt a lot from my mentee. She frequently surprised me with her quick and critical thinking. Being an individual with a different background and value system, she never fails to offer an alternate viewpoint. In short, she brightens up my life.

Apart from the actual lessons, the training sessions and seminars also benefited me. Amongst the few seminars I attended, I was taught things concerning positive self-talk, the importance of how we perceive our self worth and abilities, the skills of listening and understanding people’s character. I not only picked up skills that was useful in mentoring, I , at times, understood myself to a greater extent.